Thursday, December 29, 2011

I must confess.


  • I hate the listless feeling of not knowing the next step in life...when will I find a job, will I go to law school or a PhD program, where will I finally settle, who will I make a life with? I just wanna know!
  • I'm at peace with all my experiences in Indiana. 
  • Research saved my life. 
  • I want to go to law school at the University of Michigan
  • I think of who my brother and I used to be, best friends. Who we are now isn't even a shadow of our former selves. Good and bad.
  • It's time to be a smaller me. #lookbetternaked
  • the main reason I like living by myself is because I like to walk around without pants and leave the bathroom door open when I pee
  • I spent an hour looking at pictures of black people getting married. I cried the entire time, but not for reasons one might think. I just felt like that's what I should want, and is there something wrong with me that I don't?
  • My grandmother PLAYED me. She brought me a 1980's sweatsuit that would've made a swish sound when I walked if I had worn it, when I made a face she side-eye'd me and told me "well it would've been a wedding dress but..." and I just laughed it off. Took it back and brought NARS make-up. #winning
  • I'm so confident in certain areas, and others I constantly worry about. I wish this would balance out.
  • I'm in love with someone I've never dated, and who doesn't care about me. *shrugs*. I'm trying to get over him to no avail. I've tried the no contact delete from social networks, didn't work. I tried pretending nothing happened, didn't work. I don't know.... 
  • I'm trying to be that "power woman" but I have to admit some days I just want to be a housewife. Not because I don't love or want to do the work, but it would be easier socially. #conflicts
  • I used to cry when I felt that someone wasn't paying attention to me that I loved. Now I'm so much more secure and don't care to be paid attention all the time. I'm so glad I've grown in that. It used to cause me real anxiety. I know people love me even though their focus isn't on me.
  • I wish I was less awkward. I'm not even cute awkward.
  • I'm tired of keeping secrets, even my own. I just wanna be me.
  • I'm in love with J. Cole's voice.
  • I miss my godchildren. 
  • I wish people would stop worrying about my uterus. You won't believe how many people talked about my future kids and husband over the holidays. 
  • I hate long job applications.
  • I have the biggest crush on Mahlon Mitchell for his speaking ability...chile. WHEW! GOOGLE HIM!
  • Adele will always sing the song of my life. 
  • I have a major crush on Ndamukong Suh, but I really feel like he hits women and slays hoes on the side.
  • I spend hours and hours on tumblr and I don't even have one.
  • I secretly root for the Detroit Lions. 
  • I'm looking forward to the future, only if to know what it looks like. 
  • When I get a job I'm getting a new tattoo.

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