Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Dear, ... My best, Stephane


Dear person I hate,
I was inadequate. I didn't realize the only reason why I allowed my feelings about what you did, what was said, what was done turn into a hate for all that you are is because I wasn't fulfilled. I spent too much time thinking  about whatever happened. In the grand scheme of things it was so minute. Whatever happened between us was a situation, it was not all you are. As I've come to know my imperfections I've realized that people don't come in discrete packages. People are not just good, bad, pretty or ugly. You exist further than our disagreement, you are more than your role to me. I need to see you as I hope you and others will see me, with humanity, knowing that according to my nature I cannot be perfect. My life is now full of things I love, and I can't even see you like I used to. You used to invade my passing thoughts with negativity. Now I'm too busy counting my blessings to even remember what made me hate you in the first place. I wish you the best.

Stephane

Dear person I like,

Seriously. The only way to keep you as perfect as you are is to never know you. I don't even like Wale, but he told the truth when he said, " I wanna enjoy the luxury of like...not knowing each other for real." As much as I want to know your touch, hear your voice, converse with you about the things you ponder on. It scares me. Knowledge can kill hope. I wanna know who you are, but what if you're not who I imagined you to be? I try not to hype you up in my head, but  " I'm absolutely fascinated by thoughts of what [we] might be like." Can I be courageous?

Steph

Dear ex bestfriend,
Shit happens, to the best of us, to the best us's. There's no ill will. I've had to patterns of thought about this since Jerius died. I said to you, I have no regrets. Do I miss the way it was, yes. We all had a great time together. But, I know that I've changed and I'm sure you have too, and if it weren't the same we would hurt those good memories, you know? Not saying that we wouldn't be great friends now, but who knows. If it comes back, it does. If it doesn't that's okay with me too. I'm not bitter or mad about anything. I personally didn't go off on a bad note. We just moved in different directions. Now, I don't know. I don't believe in forcing it, but we need each other. I know that now.

Dear bestfriend,
You make me happy. You are my sister friend. I've never met anyone who could tell me about myself in such a way that is careful to make me understand what I need to change, but also to build and encourage me. You're so good at that. I'm blessed to know you. I'm so proud of you. Your accomplishments are mine and I love growing with you.


Dear *anyone*,
Don't ever let anyone define you. People are draw to those who are happy, whether it's to tear them down or build them up depends. But it doesn't matter which one it is because you have to keep you for yourself. Don't give them all your love, all your pride, all your work. You will die alone. Your last breath will come out of your mouth. Live the life you were placed in, it will do you no good to try and be someone else. You will fail, over and over again. It's been done by who was meant to do it. Perpetration is a tool of the devil. I wish I could really get into that but think on it for a while. Love, harder. It can change anything.

My best,

Stephane


Dear future me,
You will be blessed. You know who you are and what you're meant to do. Walk in it.

Steph

Dear past me,
Thank God for missed opportunities. You'll be thanking God that he made you slow to warm up and that people percieve you as standoffish later. It will get rid of a lot of people who mean you know harm, because you look like too much work.
Sincerely,
You

Dear person I had a crush on,
I wasted enough time talking about you. There wasn't anything there. I realize that now. *shrug*

Stephane

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