Dear God, It's Me

It's been 502 days since my last confession and I'm not who you knew me to be. The last time I wrote on this blog I was still working for the company who must not be named ("CMNBN"). Now, don't get me wrong, I learned a million things about being an attorney and a working professional, chiefly among them when to grab your purse and run for the exits. After working there almost a year, and taking on increasingly more responsibility I asked my boss for a raise. Like the true millennial woman I am, I listed all of my accomplishments, a timeline of the increased work I was taking on, and areas of law I was completely responsible for: collections & bankruptcy. I talked with him privately, and asked my temp company to negotiate on my behalf. I got the raise, a whopping $4, up to $18 from my $14 salary 🔚🔜.  CMNBN was going through a merger and his budget outside of the normal payroll process was were my salary came from, and even with my agency discounting their rates, he was unable to give me more. My car at the time, a 2002 Ford Taurus was on its last legs, I was driving 45 minutes to get to CMNBN, and I couldn't even afford to live by myself in DAYTON. As a single woman with no kids, do you know how poor you have to be to not be able to afford rent in DAYTON? Real Poor. This dear friends had become untenable. I was a lawyer now, a real life lawyer, why was this my life? After a particularly hard day, where a $30 million + dollar contract (got the contract btw) rested on the work I did, I cried in a bathroom over the stress. I never cry, I'm just not that person. The next week I wrote my resignation letter. It was a simple resignation letter stating that I was giving my two weeks notice and the date. My boss called my agency screaming in response, I heard him from out in the hall, but I was unhappy and poor, two things I couldn't do simultaneously.  The last few weeks there he gave me a crazy amount of work to do, and even tried to have me negotiate with customers, which I refused to do. They did not hire me as an attorney, I was not an officer of the company with legal protection, nor did they pay for any malpractice insurance on my behalf.  The last thing my about to be jobless self needed was a lawsuit for a decision I made for a company I didn't even actually work for. After he calmed down we had a conversation, an exit interview of sorts, and I think we came to an understanding, but not before he ruined a potential employment opportunity for me (just suspicion). I have to say, my mother was the most supportive person ever during this time and I can't thank her enough. She understood that if I stayed another two or three years, working for less, other employers would look at that as a willingness to accept less that what I deserved and treat me with the same attitude and it would be harder for me to challenge lower pay. Also, as I said before, I was not brought on as an attorney, and I although I wasn't one when I started, I was one now, why would I stay in that lesser role?

The next 5 months were hard. I was taking contract jobs here and there, applying EVERYWHERE, meeting with people and generally being super low emotionally. However, thanks to a great coworker recommendation and some networking based on another coworkers tremendous recommendation I landed a job at an amazing firm (way too good for the likes of me) and I've been happily employed ever since. I've just come up on my 1 year anniversary :). Now I want more, lol. Millennial job satisfaction is a myth. It's not that I don't love the firm, but what more can I do in that role or at this firm. The answer may come within my office, and it may come outside. Who knows?

Thanks for reading. See you soon, hopefully not 502 days from now!


BTW, I heard later that my replacement from CMNBN was fired and now they have two people doing the same job I had done on my own. HA!