Two things first, normally don't use my blog to throw shade but hey, I'm creating what this is as I go along. Second, in writing this post I'm doing the exact same thing that I'm complaining about in the post. I'm pre-acknowledging it's hypocrisy. But, I'm going to say it anyway.
As I was on facebook I ran across this posting:
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." Matthew 7:3-5
I don't know this person's life but since she said herself that we all fall short I'm guessing she has her own issues in this area. Knowing what I do know about love, that woman, whoever she's talking about is not seeing what we see. Those rose colored glasses have blinded the most intelligent and educated of us all. I'm sure, as I have been here myself, she didn't go into the relationship seeking to look stupid. None of us do, but in true fashion, he is not what we expect, or really need and we are left to deal with the consequences of his, and our actions. Why judge her? Because, it's easy from the pew, harder from the pulpit. I think the better way instead of throwing stones and shade and putting the woman on trial is to share a testimony. I'm learning that people don't respond well to attacks, but sharing your struggle and really admitting that you've made mistakes and are learning and growing gets through much better.
Second thing is Matthew 18:15 and this is were I get hypocritical
15 “If your brother or sister[b] sins,[c] go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’[d] 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
Let's not be putting people on blast in public forums. If you really are concerned about her, and you feel some type of way, take her to the side and tell her that you're praying for her and that you love her and don't want to see her hurt. There were some steps missed by this status on facebook.
I also take issue with the "it looks bad"...If you are thoroughly concerned with how what you do in life that makes you happy looks. Then your self-esteem must not be where it needs to be. I don't care how my being a Ph.D. with a garbage man as a husband looks, if he makes me happy, then what it "looks" like doesn't matter. As well all know, looks can be decieving.
If anything, blame hope. We all hope that when we get into a relationship or like a guy that he'll change, our relationship will be different, or we're seeing the best, and ignoring the parts that might lead us to be (dare I say it) alone. Some people are so scared of that, and that's something we need to start acknowledging and dealing with.
Okay, I'm done.