Sunday, November 7, 2010

For Colored Girls who can see without "I hate Tyler Perry Colored Glasses"

So I've been reading a lot of reviews and commentary on the movie "For Colored Girls" which was adapted from Ntozakhe Shange and all of them point to Tyler Perry's directing, adaptation for screen, and producing skills, completely missing the the poetry that dominates the film and gives it life above the bad shot to shot transitions, and awkward transitory phrases. We already knew he would do that. Plus, I'm sure she approved the script before he sent it so...I also think that some people walked away from the theater thinking that "I hate men" or "another man bashing movie from Tyler Perry". That's not what I took away at all, and if you did I think you missed one of the main points.

So today I was talking with my Auntie Leslye, who reads this blog and I said I was going to do a review, and I basically did it on facebook with her. Here are the three most impactful parts for me, and I think that the great thing about this movie is, that depending on your life, different parts may speak to your spirit and that's what we should be concentrating on. As my Auntie said, "you have to see it as it was meant to be told"

(1) When Phylicia Rashad tells Kimberly Elise she needs to take some responsibility for her kid's death and that them dying happened way before the window

I think that this is a point that is so important for women to understand. We have responsibility over our love life. We make decisions to love people, it doesn't just happen. I bet you, any woman who is in a relationship can tell you at least three major moments in the aforementioned. The trick is to not just let important moment be added into the tapestry that is your relationship, but analyze it and see what it really means. There were so many moments that were possible points of departure for her, the first beatings, the emotional abuse...etc.etc. We, as women need to start being conscious of these moments in our lives that are seeking to speak to us. Telling us it is to to make our exit, our entrance into a new phase and to leave! Acceptance of our own complacency and of their behavior, that we allowed is part of the process of healing and more importantly GROWTH. I'm not saying that it is all a women's fault, by any means, but as Phylicia said, how much of the responsibility you choose to take is on you, but some of it is ours. It all happens way before the window.


Our lives are short on this earth and we must be willing to open our hearts. When it is not working, you have to be able to see that and be willing to move on. That was what was wrong with Kimberly Elise's role. -  Aunt Leslye

(2) When janet tells her husband she "loved him on purpose" and she was "open with him"

I think for anyone who has dated more than just their loving doting husband, you have experienced some heartbreak, and after you have successfully moved on your life is never the same. I seriously don't think we ever completely "get over people" I think we just "move on". But moving on and trying to open yourself to someone new is a task. It takes an emotional effort that some women can never reach, or never fully reach. In a way you deny yourself, you deny those negative thoughts, those past experiences, your fear and say " I'm going to love again." Love is not at all the haphazard process that folks make it out to be. Relationships don't happen over night. Completely opening oneself, the good, the bad, the crazy, the vulnerable, all that makes you, you is just.... It takes time, energy, and work. To bear one's soul to a person that there is no guarantee that they will love you equally or give as much as you will, is the most difficult things one can encounter in life. It's the biggest leap of faith and you make that jump everyday of your life, not knowing if this might be the day they choose not to catch you. 

(3) when loretta is in the mirror saying that even though she has heartache she loved him from a place of joy

This moment is in the film is a reinteration of what I said before, and on top of all that effort to move on, you want to bring that person the best, because you have taken the time to love them. Hope, I think that's the root of this place of joy that she speaks about. Hope that this person will treat you better than the last, that this relationship will work out, that he will be there everyday to catch you. You give them the best of you, the best that you have left to give, the best that's still there after all that heartache and pain.

As with any relationship you take the bad and turn it into a positive and you take the good and build upon it. Love is ever evolving and we make a choice on how we express that love. Our lives are short on this earth and we must be willing to open our hearts - Aunt Leslye



So, go see it as it was meant to be told, and not how Tyler Perry presented it!


Sidenote:: One positive thing I did take from Kimberly's character was the way she talked to him, when he was trying to drink that morning, her voice was calm, full of understanding, and she was talking to him not as if she was telling him what to do, but as if a partner in good choices. I think that we need to start using honey instead of the vinegar soo much :)

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