Tuesday, August 30, 2011

In A Roundabout Way

So I feel like those who know me in real life are expecting this post, but it's not what you think it is. I can't talk about it. I can't write about it. It's not the inspiration for this post, but in a way it added to it.

First of all I must say I'm a researcher. In every way.

A few weeks ago I went to Indianapolis with my mom to have a mini-getaway and to attend the tail end of annual conference for the CME church. While looking for my mom I ran in to my pastor. He was asking me about my life, what I was doing next, where I was going, when I graduated etc. etc. Then he said something that honestly got under my skin, he told me that we needed to get together and talk because he wanted to make sure that I was "on the right track". I'm a master's degree student, chaste, have never been in trouble, and regularly attend church, his church, even though I live out of town (I'm there so much most people think I've already graduated) so what does "on the right track" mean...

Well I knew what it meant, he wanted to make sure I was still wanting to get married and have kids and still prescribing to the "way things should go". *side eye*. This meeting will never happen. Not in a million years. It also solidifies my current thinking on all things church. "Go. Fellowship. Hear the word. Believe God more. Trust man less. Love." I'm not, nor will I ever be religious. I know too much to ever base my faith on it. People fail all the time. Sometimes even on purpose for whatever vane and glorious reasons they have. They are not my concern, hearing "well done" is.

I think the main point of EVERYTHING that God teaches is love. Son dies for sins: love. Gives commandments: ways to love. Advice to the church: how to love. Chastisement: love. Coming back again: because of love. Forgiveness: perfect love.

I think that's gotten lost, and therefore we're lost and losing people (mentally, physically to spiritual and physical death). I think we pick and choose what we want to hear from the Bible *completely ignore all the parts about not judging*, decide to shun people for alternative paths. Did we forget Paul was Saul?

To put me into a box, and say, the only way that I can be fruitful and multiply is by having kids that I don't necessary want, for reasons that are ridiculous, is not love. I asked my grandmother who insists I have children if people who are barren are automatically sinners...she had no answer. What about the people who are born with no hormones, or with ambiguous genitalia? We're making rules that don't fit the human experience.

I may or may not ever get married. I may or may not ever have children. I'm not sorry for any of it. I can't live my life by what other people want, no matter what there position, agenda, or interpretation of biblical evidence.

I watched a movie on homosexuality and Christianity the other day. It completely shapes my views. Interpretation is everything and I lean toward the interpretation that goes with the general theme on love. It's called "Fish Out of Water". I recommend watching it, if only to know what the other side is.

I love above all else.

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