Saturday, September 17, 2011

Murder to Excellence

I'm the good girl, not because I'm a people-pleaser, but I've just never really had a desire to do wrong. Foolishness has never appealed to me, and I like my life to be peaceful. I thrive in peace. People are usually proud of the things I do, and I don't garner chatisement often. I think it's part of the reason why this hurts so much. My grandmother couldn't have picked a worse time for these antics. I take my GRE in two weeks, trying to work on my thesis, research etc. I can't handle this right now. I don't pretend to be perfect, I'm not. If I was wrong, I would admit it, but in this case, I'm not.

My great uncle walked in to my mother's house. I spoke to him, he didn't say anything back to me. That hurt. I knew my grandmother had told him the same lies she told my mom, my brother, and whoever else she could get to. I never cussed her out. I wasn't disrespectful. She asked for her house keys back, I gave them to her. I can't talk to my grandfather, my ultimate confidant, and the person I look up to the most because of this, and that hurts. Why would you lie on your granddaughter? You're seventy something years old, and you're fabricating details to make your side of the story look better? REALLY?

My mom said to just let it go. Talking to her is only gonna give her more fuel for lies. So I'm just sitting back taking the blows with no way to defend myself...

"Ma, I'm fighting for you, don't increase my stress load" - Jay Z

It's extremely hurtful when the people who are the ones that are supposed to protect you from the world are the ones who make it feel less safe. Sad. Day.

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