Monday, August 23, 2010

Shipping Address

So it's official, I'm a graduate student in small town America, where I know no one and the bus is still .50 cents to ride. I'm scared to be honest, will the next two years of my life feature loneliness as a constant? Will I be forgotten back home? I'm extremely prepared academically but what about everything else? I feel like an adult now, and the decisions about what I'm going to make of my life are no longer looming on the horizon, they're here. Right now. I equate this experience to feeling like I'm about to jump into a cold pool, I know that once I'm in it for a while I'll feel warm and comfortable and enjoy the experience, but as I stand on the edge I take a breath, I hesitate. Will the shock of the cold be worth it?
I must admit my support structure is carrying me right now. They have never not texted back, not called, not facebooked or failed to give me anything by the way of love and encouragement. They know that I'm capable and it cements my resolution to not just be successful but to be happy and work on being a better person.
It also makes it easier when the people who have been my friends throughout undergrad are in the same position as me, they may not all be in the stix, but they're in graduate programs and are making the same moves I am, for them I try too.
So as I stand in this state of flux between unknown and comfortable I remember one thing: I'm still me. Fabulous, fun, sexy, and intelligent. Even if this experience yields nothing but a diploma and a resolution to NEVER live in Indiana again, at least I'll have learned something and I'll be better just because of that.

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